Jill enjoys fantasy role-playing. No, not that kind… This is the kind where you roll dice at a table with your friends and pretend you are an Elfin Warrior Princess. It’s all about fighting monsters and hunting for treasure. Tonight’s gaming session takes an interesting turn. It seems the only way to the gold is to seduce the sexy Giant that bars her way. Hopefully Jill is up to the task, because the Game Master seems to have all the right moves. Things get hot fast, and pretty soon we have nothing less than Elf on Giant action. Jill may just save the day and get the treasure, as long as she succeeds in Making the Rolls.
Jill sat up straight and squared herself against Memphis. She had noticed on earlier game nights that he seemed distracted by her boobs, prompting her choice to start gaming bra-less... just to keep him off balance.
She asked cutely, "Does Mr. Giant speak Common Language?"
"It might be a little late for that, but you do have the first free move. Go ahead and try." Memphis smiled a toothy smile and reached for his dice.
She nibbled the tip of her pencil. She knew that if she tried to retreat Mr. Giant would get a free shot and likely kill her, ending the game. What the hell... she thought, What have I got to lose... except my dignity?
Jill began sheepishly, "Yanxantha yells, 'Hold, fair Giant!' She unbuckles her smashed breastplate and lets it fall to the ground at their feet. She looks up at him submissively and steps back with her arms upheld in supplication. She might be bouncing from foot to foot a bit. Oh... and she smiles seductively."
"Perhaps you should describe your character in detail for us, Jill... You know, for accuracy's sake. And don't forget to speak in the first person."
"Really?" asked Jill. "You're gonna make me role-play this out?"
"That's why they're called role-playing games, Yanxantha."
Jill liked gaming with Memphis. He was friendly and smart and he actually listened to her. His bookish good looks seemed to get under her skin. She was also coming to the conclusion that they both might have very dirty minds.
"Oh, sure. Fine. Okay," said Jill. "I'll give you a description, Mr. Game Master, but after that we will have a roll-off for the Giant's reaction to Yanxantha. Daryl here will calculate my bonuses. Do we have a deal?"
Larry blurted, "Memphis, that sounds totally fair. Let's hear Jill describe herself." Daryl was already flipping through various handbooks, looking for modifiers. Memphis nodded, smiling at Jill.
She arched one eyebrow and said loftily, "I am standing on the rocky path next to my fallen comrades. The smell of blood and bad choices combines with the cool alpine air as I survey my opponent. I look upon the primal beauty of his smooth, chiseled features and see a noble brow, with clear intelligence emanating from his smoke-coloured eyes. My loins twitch at the sight of him towering above me like some avatar of the ages: massive, primal, and beautiful. The coarse woolen kilt he wears intrigues me as I imagine what is hidden beneath. My shattered breastplate lies on the ground, discarded in supplication.
"I stand as tall as my slight Elfin frame allows. I am comfortable with the beauty of my body, naked from the waist up. I am lithe and pale, athletic and feminine. My flaxen hair shifts like gossamer in the wind. I thrill at the strange, remote intimacy I am sharing with this mountain denizen. My dark nipples tighten as I shift my weight from one foot to the other. Is it from the mountain breeze or is it my proximity to this inspiring creature? I raise my arms in surrender and offer no threat. Drawing upon the innate beauty of the Elfin race and the formidable loveliness I know I possess, I smile my warmest invitation. 'Hold, fair warrior, I beg you. Let us speak'."
The table was silent. Memphis was grinning. Larry looked like he was in another world. Daryl initiated a "slow clap of respect."
This book was added to our catalog on Monday 22 May, 2017.