Juliet sees a car crash and hurries to help a severely injured man. All she can do is call 911 and try to keep him alert until the medics arrive, lest he go into shock and die. Desperate, she puts his hand on her breast, hoping to distract him from the awful pain. This works--but now he’s in love with her. Before it’s done, God Himself intervenes.
Warnings: This title contains graphic language and sexual situations.
Word Count: 7,808
Red Adept, 5 Stars!
" [Piers Anthony] is a long-time favorite fantasy author of mine…I love the writing style of Mr. Anthony in this novella. It’s a cross between the simplicity of the Xanth Series and the irreverent humor in the Immortals Series."
Ivy D, Manic Readers Reviews
“…a wonderfully irreverent sense of humor”
“God forgive me,” Juliet said aloud. Then she started swallowing the sleeping pills she had raided from her mother’s cache, washing them down with a cup of water. She hoped they would be enough.
When she had downed them all, she went to her desk and wrote a brief note for the world. I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT ROMEO. I LOVE HIM. I’M SORRY. She wasn’t condemning her folks, just explaining. She had always known her folks wouldn’t understand. They were locked in the sterile conformity of the chaste married state. If she ever got the chance to marry, she would make sure it never got to be like that. Not that she would get that chance.
Then she lay on her bed. “Romeo, I love you,” she said. “I hope we can be together in the other realm.” She closed her eyes, relaxing. What would be, would be.
Time passed, an instant or an eternity. She stood at the pearly gate of Heaven. She tried to enter, but it closed before her. She was not completely surprised; suicides were reputed to be unwelcome here.
She looked around. There was a desk to the side, with a female clerk sitting at it. “This way, miss,” the woman said. “We have to process you in.”
Oh. Of course. They wouldn’t even know who she was, without the paperwork. Bureaucracies were like that. She went to the desk. “Juliet,” she said, identifying herself.
The woman rifled through a sheaf of papers. Her eyes widened. “Oh, my!”
This was not looking good. “I’m a suicide,” she said. “I guess you have a problem with that.”
“It’s not just that. There’s a codicil attached. You must answer to God directly. And is He ever wroth.”
So it was the worst case scenario. “I’ll save you the trouble. Where’s the road to Hell?”
“Nuh-uh! You don’t get off that easily. Go that way.” A door opened in the wall behind the desk.
Juliet wasn’t eager to go there, but found herself walking through the doorway and down a short hall. Then she was in a huge glorious chamber, and the passage she had used was gone. There was no exit. Obviously they didn’t fool around with bad souls in the afterlife.
And there was God, sitting on a giant golden throne, wearing a brilliant crown sparkling with diamonds. At His right hip was a terrible swift sword. His eyes swung around to bear on her, transfixing her.
“I’m-I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“You OD’d on pills, you idiotic little snit?” He demanded imperiously. “Whatever possessed your minuscule mind? It’s not your time.”
She fell to her knees before Him, sobbing in terror.
“Oh shut up and listen,” He snapped. “Don’t you dare quit now. I am not through with you, you selfish twit. Not by a long shot. I need you to sustain Romeo. Why the Hell did you think I sent you to him?”
This book was added to our catalog on Tuesday 26 July, 2011.